How often have we said that, and really, really meant it? And how often have we followed through?

How important is it to keep in touch?

I want to tell you about something terrific that happened just this morning. I’d finished the usual “get ready for the day” tasks, and was settling in to do some serious work when the phone rang. Much to my delight – and I have to admit, surprise – the woman on the other end of the line had been in one of my workshops probably 10 or 15 years ago, had found my website, and was calling to order some materials for her staff.

It just does not get any better than that!

Yet much as I like to provide helpful materials – and we are working on some new materials right now – the biggest thing to me was that she remembered me, looked me up, and called!

So what are some of the reasons some of us may fall a bit short in the “keeping in touch” area? And what can we do about them?

Well, for one thing, there is always so much to do on the job that keeping in touch, especially when there is nothing immediate or pressing, somehow falls to the bottom of the “to do now” stack. Too busy? Most of us are – I rarely hear from anyone who is looking for “something to do”!

Maybe it’s because we feel a little awkward, or nervous about our writing skills, worried that because of our writing skills, we might lower ourselves in this reader’s estimation if we were to email him or her, just to keep in touch. And perhaps we don’t want to telephone because we fear that the person on the other end of the line will think that any time we call we want something.

Or realistically, we may understand that the person we want to keep in touch with is just as busy as we are, and we don’t want to become a nuisance.

“Nuisance” can happen, as we all know. Rule of thumb: Communicate at a comfortable contact frequency level not only for your reader (or call recipient), but for yourself as well. Is that interval for keeping in touch once a year? Quarterly? Weekly? Daily? Clearly, we do not want to make pests of ourselves (and that’s another reason we don’t keep in touch, or get back in touch), but I am willing to bet that even if you have not been in touch for a year or more, that person will likely be pleased to hear from you, particularly when you have something of interest, or of value to share with him or with her.

How do you do it?

Here’s one way: From time to time, you’ve probably read an article, or a blog post that made you think of something you discussed at one point, maybe even years ago, with that person or persons. If you think it might be useful to him or her, attach it to an email, or clip and postal mail it with a quick note. The advantage of the email is that it is easy, takes very little time, and most people check their email fairly often. But will they open it? The advantage of postal mail is that it is rather unusual to get something from the letter carrier, which may enhance your chances of having it opened, especially if it neither looks like, nor is, an ad.

If your contact has been more recent, perhaps offering your blog posts or newsletters may be an unobtrusive way to keep in touch. Just be sure the receiver requests, and wants to receive this material from you, that the material could be of value to him or to her, and that you don’t confuse blog posts and newsletters with sales letters and advertising. Advertising, sales-oriented, and promotional materials and campaigns are a separate issue, and not an appropriate “keep in touch” device.

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/318-7412, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

In most American cities and towns, school is out, and we are, or soon may be, on our various ways to see friends and family – the loved ones we think about so often, but haven’t seen for a while.

And when we think about them, how do we think about them? I’m pretty sure we do not think about the occasional, or perhaps even frequent grammatical errors they may make! When we see them again, after an absence, it’s always surprising to hear them making these errors.

So here’s something I hope you will think about even more: While poor grammar will, and very often does keep us from getting the job we really want, or need, or from achieving some of our life-long goals, poor grammar is not a character flaw. And with a little work, and a little “want to,” it can be fixed.

I was thinking about all of this when we re-connected with a friend for whom English is a second language. As usual, she generously started speaking to me in her native language immediately – a language I’ve been working on for years, but not always correctly from a grammatical point of view.  She has been willing to help me practice – especially to improve my grammar!

And I thought: Grammatically correct English can seem like a “foreign language” too. So what does my friend recommend to speed the “grammatically correct” learning process?

1. Listen – to conversations, radio, television, movies, remembering that many of this speech is not grammatically correct, but can be helpful for pace, tone, and pronunciation. You can immerse yourself in something you find interesting, and pick up a great deal almost effortlessly.

2. Read – everything from children’s books to periodicals, to textbooks and novels. Again, not all will be grammatically correct, but it will give you a good start, as you notice how the language goes together.

3. Identify, and work on, one issue at a time. For example, if you are saying something like, “This will be fun for you and I,” when it should be, “This will be fun for you and me,” think about, and make up a bunch of sentences using the correct wording to practice this kind of sentence in various forms.

4. Talk to Yourself – or the dog! I’ve found this one particularly helpful. When you are washing the dishes, taking a shower, going for a walk, or doing some activity that does not require a lot of heavy thinking, carry on a mental conversation with yourself, correcting, and using correctly, the issue you are working on.

To get started, visit my website free resources quiz section at http://www.gailtycer.com/quiz.html to see which areas you might want to work on.

Give me a call, or email me if you have a question the answer key doesn’t answer.

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/318/7412, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

Hot as it has been, let’s take a couple of minutes to sit back, cool off, and have a little fun. And what could be more fun than grammar! It’s time for the Word Scramble Challenge!

Here’s how to play this version:

The scrambled word is at the top of each question.

The clue comes next.

Then there’s the space for you to fill in the word you’ve unscrambled.

Ready, Set, Go!

Scrambled Word: rdvbae

Clue: An   adverb describes or modifies a verb, an adjective, or

another adverb.

The word is:   adverb.

Scrambled Word: berv

Clue: A verb is an action word (run, throw, swim, shout, tackle), or expresses state of being (is, are, was, were, seems).

The word is verb .

Scrambled Word: jateviced

Clue: An adjective  describes or modifies a noun or a pronoun. Three articles, a,

an, and the are also adjectives.

The word is adjective.

Scrambled Word: uonn

Clue: A noun names something: a person, place, thing, or idea.

The word is noun

Scrambled Word: otipsprenoi

Clue: A  preposition  is a word or group of words that shows the relationship between its object and another word in the sentence.

The word is:  preposition.

Scrambled Word: ticnonjunoc

Clue:    A  conjunction  connects individual words or groups of words.

The word is   conjunction.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this bit of fun! Let us know how you did.

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/318/7412, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

There’s nothing like a bit of travel to remind you just how important asking for, getting, and giving directions is. When you’re lost – in the airport, getting into town, or on the city streets, it quickly becomes very clear just exactly how vital this information can really be.

When you’re traveling, the best answer we’ve found for getting directions to where you need to go geographically – just getting out of the parking lot can often be a challenge – is your favorite version of a GPS. By favorite, I mean the one you can figure out how to use! Our favorite is Siri, a personal assistant application for iOS. One of Siri’s many capabilities is a GPS function which pretty much gets you out of trouble – or into it – your preference!

Siri comes already installed on newer versions of the iPhone, making “her” easy to keep with you at all times. Many new cell phones today have some sort of GPS with various capabilities built in, or apps available.

But what if you do not have a GPS with you? How do you get directions? What questions do you ask, and more importantly, how do you ask them in a way that will avoid confusion and get you the answers you need?

If you’re still inside the terminal, it comes right down to reading the signs, which are, hopefully, in a language you can read, or have pictures that help you guess where they are telling you to go.

The second choice is to ask someone. This is where it starts getting more difficult. Asking for directions is an underrated, frequently overlooked skill. Ask the wrong question, or add extraneous information, who knows where you may wind up. When asking for information,

1. Remember that “How do I go to…” or “Where do I go to get to…” are very different questions from “Where is….” The former are more likely to get you step-by-step directions, while the latter will most likely get you a general direction wave of the arm, and a turned back.

2. If there is a Tourist Aid counter, start there. If not, perhaps a uniformed employee could help. In all cases, be aware of cultural considerations. Bone up a bit on the “rules” for interaction in the places you will be visiting, including the airports or transportation hubs. Make your personal safety a top priority, and use common sense when selecting the person to ask. He or she is not your new best friend, and could turn into quite the opposite. Too much information is not only unwise from a safety point of view, but can also significantly confuse the issue. So provide no information or interaction beyond asking for directions, and any necessary follow-up questions.

3. Use only the information your listener needs to be able to give you the answer you need. He or she, with few exceptions, really doesn’t need to know why you need to go there, who you’re going to meet there, or what you plan to do next. And you certainly do not need him or her to know.

4. Beyond the usual “How do I go to…” a follow-up question might be necessary to find out what to expect. For example, you might ask, “How do I go to Baggage Claim?”

After getting the answer, your follow-up question might be, “How far is it?” This will help you to decide whether to request a wheelchair, catch a shuttle, or walk. You may have more than one follow-up question. Be sure you understand each answer, and if not, ask it in another way until you do. At the end, repeat all the information back, to be sure you “got it.”

When giving information,

1. Provide step-by step directions, eliminating any extraneous comments or information.

2. Again, consider your personal safety first. Provide no further information or interaction beyond providing the information your questioner needs to provide the answers you’re looking for.

Bon Voyage! Have a great trip, and let us hear about it!

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/292-9681, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

Ever wished you could take those words back? Ever wished you hadn’t said it? Well, I guess most of us have.

Those “Oh, I wish I could take it back,” or “Can I have a do-over?” moments generally fall into two categories: (1) Content, or what you say; and (2) Mechanics – or how you use the English language to say it. I got thinking about this over the weekend, (1) as a great neighbor wished me a “happy” Memorial Day.

How well intentioned! How kind of my neighbor to wish me, as I’m sure it was meant, a happy holiday. But what a contradiction in terms. Happy Memorial Day? While there must be tremendous gratitude for those who have given their lives for our country, as there are those happy memories of our deceased loved ones, it just doesn’t seem quite right to consider a day of reflection for their impacts on our lives today as a happy time. Grateful? Maybe. Appreciative? Maybe.

Another sign of the times? Probably. When, in 1868, the Grand Army of the Republic – an organization of Union veterans of the American Civil War – set aside a “Decoration Day” for putting flowers on veterans’ graves, the intent was clear. Today? Maybe not so much, as Decoration Day has morphed into the more inclusive Memorial Day, with its attendant day off, sales, and picnics, sometimes following a trip to the cemetery. And that’s why I was being wished a “happy”one. And why my neighbor, when he realized the content he had offered, was embarrassed.

In the second category – mechanics, or how you say it:  The frequently-seen sign outside the dental or medical office, reading “Now Accepting New Patients.” A real potential for disaster on three counts: (1) tone, (2) word choice, and (3) potential for very unfortunate misspelling, or misunderstanding.

1. Tone and (2) Word Choice. Instead of saying, “Now Accepting New Patients,” which is (2) pretty formal and could come across like the professional inside is doing you a favor, why not just say, “New Patients Welcome” – which expresses a far warmer tone – much more desirable if you are looking for new patients

3 Potential for Unfortunate Misspelling. “Accepting” and “Excepting” can sound very similar, and can be easily misunderstood, or confused. Not a good situation when you want potential patients to know they will be favorably received – “accepted”; and not “excepted,” or turned down.

Two more easily misunderstood, or misspelled words: accede and exceed. Both of these words date back to the 14th century, when they did not look or sound as similar as they do today. Accede means, Mr. Webster tells us, “to express approval or give consent.” Exceed means “to be greater…better…or more than…to go beyond the limit.”

So give some thought to what you want to say – to your content, and then to how you will say it. Make what you mean to say very clear, so you can get the results you have planned for. Ask yourself, ”Is this what I really mean?” And then look particularly at how you say it: choice of words, resulting tone, and potential for misunderstanding, or misspelling.

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/292-9681, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

A couple of weeks ago, we talked about Words and Phrases that Affect Your Reader  – Not Always in a Good Way, and promised more of what to avoid in another post. Here it is.

First off, we defined a connotative word as a word that in and of itself “carries baggage.” Our old friend Webster’s defines connotation as “an idea or quality that a word makes you think about in addition to its meaning.” Two examples might be “complaint,” and  “propaganda.” Or how about “diet,” which may be defined as, “food or drink regularly provided or consumed” – in other words, we’re just talking about what you eat – which is probably not what most of us think when the word “diet” is introduced into the conversation!

Second, we said that connotative words and phrases are often judgmental words or phrases.  Sometimes they are overly formal, or “vocabulary exercise” types of words that, at the very least, can make others feel uncomfortable, if not outright put down.

And third, sometimes those words and phrases that may affect your reader negatively are just words or phrases that are keeping bad company – just an unfortunate random combination of, or juxtaposition of your words.

But connotation affects everyone. We’ve been talking about “big people” – adults in the workplace – to this point, but think about kids. Tell any two-year-old it’s time for a nap, and see what happens! Unless that child is willing to admit he or she is bone tired, and can see a little rest as a good thing, “nap” may mean being separated from the people or the activities he or she is enjoying.

Or how about “Don’t you know how to tie your shoes?” vs. “Do you know how to tie your shoes?”

How many connotative words can you identify in the following three sentences? Underline them. And then, how can you provide the same information without using any connotative words? Note: These sentences were extracted from real letters to real people.

1. You assert that we failed to handle your complaint properly, but what you fail to recognize is that you read the guarantee wrong and are not entitled to a refund in the first place.

2. You failed to pass the test.

3. You obviously failed to comprehend what I said, even though it was written in plain English.

(Note: The word “you” may be thought of as a “finger pointer.” When you use “you” or the person’s name in a positive message it strengthens the positive feeling. Quite the reverse is true when you use “you,” or the person’s name in a negative message.)

So connotative words are words that trigger feelings when they assume meanings beyond the dictionary definition. This often happens because of when they are used and the context in which they are used. They may be used to create feelings, but should not be used without appropriate thought. When they are used, it should be for a definite purpose, determined in advance.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your questions and comments. Today, I’d like to share two of these emails with you.

From Doha, Qatar comes a great observation from our friend the college professor: “…loved your reference to the dictionary being a fun read…” (Thanks so much, professor!) And then he goes on,

“I speak of connotation as the flavor of the word….”

What a great way to look at it! What are the basic historic four flavors – salt, sour, sweet, and bitter? Think of all the connotative words (words that “carry baggage,” making their meaning sometimes go beyond the dictionary definition), and how could you then define the connotative meaning better than by identifying the connotative meaning of that word as being, “salt(y), sour, sweet, (or) bitter”? Good way to think about those words!

From Portland, Oregon:

“We use a lot of bullet points in our reports. Some of the points in a given list may be complete sentences, and some are not. When that is the case, should periods be used at the end of each bullet point?…What do you do if there is more than one sentence in a point?”

This is a great question, and one frequently asked in class. Your organization may have its own style and preferences, and if so, you’ll want to use them.  (An organizational Style Guide is a great idea.)

On to the answer:

To begin with, use parallel construction; that is,

• When one bullet point is in sentence form, all bullet points should be in sentence form.
• Similarly, if your bullet points are not sentences, but a few words on each line to form the list, there should be no sentences – all should be “list” items. The first word, along with any proper nouns, should be capitalized. There should be no punctuation following each list item.
• This three-point explanation is an example of the sentence form bullet point list.

You can use parallel construction to strengthen the case you are building with your bullet points. When your list is in either sentence, or list form, the first word should be the same part of speech – usually an action word (a verb), in business writing. For example:

In addition to my work responsibilities, I have participated in a variety of community and volunteer activities. I have:

• Increased member pledge amounts to my church by 37% in a one-year period.
• Developed a training program for new youth umpires for our neighborhood Little League program.
• Raised funds, recruited sponsors, and organized an adult volunteer program to support our elementary school’s Youth Garden project.

And you could continue, using strong action words to introduce each bullet point. Do you see how this practice positions the writer? He or she increased, developed, and raised… An active, results-oriented go-getter, indeed, especially when coupled with a similarly-formatted list of on-the-job achievements. Further, did you notice how the actual number (37%) “proved” the accomplishment, making it more concrete and believable?

So how was this second bullet point list punctuated? Because each “action item” completes the “I have” introductory stem to form a complete sentence, each ends with a period. If there were two sentences to a particular point, each sentence would have the appropriate ending punctuation (period, exclamation point, or question mark).

You could also have a single sentence in list form. If you have one sentence, with its various points in a list, it could look like this:

This job requires the employee to:

• be at work promptly,
• function independently,
• respect co-workers, and
• provide back up as requested by the motor pool.

In essence, this format splits a sentence into bite-size pieces, which makes it easier for your reader to “get it,” and remember it.

Three ways to format your bullet list:

1. Each point is a complete sentence, punctuated and capitalized as a complete sentence.

1a. With an introductory stem, each bullet point completes the sentence thus formed. The part of this sentence actually in the list is capitalized, and has ending punctuation – usually a period in the business situation.

2. If your bullet points are not sentences, but a few words on each line to form the list, the first word, along with any proper nouns, should be capitalized. There should be no punctuation following each list item.

3. You could have a single sentence in list form.

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/292-9681, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

“Tone” – the relationship the writer sets up, or reinforces with the reader – is such a critical part of your business writing that we talk about it often. Today let’s start a list with the first three of the tools of tone.

The first thing to consider is that, if we accept the above definition of tone as being the relationship the writer sets up with the reader, just think of the power that gives the writer. And thus, must be carefully considered during the writing process.

1. In general, words and phrases are some of the tools used to build, or to reinforce that relationship. For the most part, those words and phrases go beyond the dictionary definition to create a feeling, or an emotion.

To begin with, let’s look at some of these connotative words. These are words that in and of themselves carry “baggage.” For example, complaint. To a police officer, a complaint may simply be the paperwork, or the issue itself – perhaps the need to trim tree limbs overhanging the sidewalk. To go beyond how the police officer understands and uses the word, to a frightened person who does not have the same understanding of the word as the officer has, it may mean little short of someone banging on your door in the middle of the night to carry you off to jail! While this is a rather extreme example, perhaps it makes the point.

Another negatively connotative word is propaganda, which somehow morphed from being something positive, done “for the faith” into its present negative connotation. Pope Gregory XV, who established the congregation for propagating the faith back in 1623, would, most likely, have been distressed when, by 1718, the meaning and use of the word had changed so drastically. Don’t you just love reading your dictionary? There is so much information in dictionaries! So many stories to learn! While the plot may be a bit thin, and character development a bit weak, dictionaries are a great read!

2. High-blown, or very formal words and phrases also create tone, and usually a negative one. Unless you are working on a vocabulary exercise, or a paper, thesis, or dissertation where these types of words and phrases are expected, if not downright required, it’s best to use easily-understood words and phrases to help your reader understand what you are saying. Your reader’s vocabulary struggles often lead to massive frustration – not the environment in which you want your writing read. So check on the expectation or requirements of your reader, and of the piece you are writing, as you consider the tone of words to use.

3. Negative connotation can also happen randomly, when there is an unfortunate combination of, or juxtaposition of, your words.

So there you have the first installment of three easy ways to create a negative, or unfortunate connotation. Probably not a good idea in most situations. More of what to avoid in another post.

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/292-9681, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

Well, yes and no. The main difference between the written language we learned in school, and the written language we use on the job, is purpose. What language are you speaking, and to whom? And most importantly – why?

To oversimplify, the purpose of academic, or formal writing was, at least initially, to give us the skills we needed to succeed in the formal or academic setting. The skills not only to write well in a scholarly manner, but the skills we needed to help us learn well from all types of writers, including the scholarly ones.

An additional, and frequently overlooked benefit was that, virtually unconsciously, we learned to write with a certain “tone,” garnering skills that enabled us to build, or reinforce a relationship that would allow us to fit in with the people we wanted to meet, know, or work with as adults.

On the other hand, business writing has a far different purpose. The purpose of business writing is to get a job done in the business situation. In the same way a shovel, rake, or hoe is designed for, and used for its specific purpose, business writing is a tool to get a job done!

And in the same way the design of the garden tool has been modified to do the best job of the job it has been assigned, the various tools of business writing are similarly designed to do the best job of the job they have been assigned. Business writers need to learn those skills.

And on yet another hand, there is at least one common factor: the proper use of the English language – and in particular the grammar, spelling, punctuation, and usage that those English teachers – God Bless ‘em! – had the patience to teach us, whether we wanted to learn, or not.

So let’s take a look at five of the most common errors that mark your writing as being not quite up to speed with those folks you may want to meet, know, or work with, now that we are adults. Do you recognize any of them? Here’s a very quick short quiz (answers at the end):

1. So… Let’s begin with quotation marks, and where the period (.), comma (,), colon (:), and semicolon (;) go – inside of, or outside of that closing quotation mark?

.             ,             :            and          ;

2. Do you see anything wrong with this sentence?

The Smith’s and the Johnson’s were invited to go with the Walker’s.

3a. its means______________________________________

  b. it’s means______________________________________

4. When do you use each of the following:

   a. Can not

   b. Cannot

   c. Can’t

5. When do you use “lay,” and when do you use “lie”? This one has been irritating students of “proper English,” virtually forever!

   a. Use “lay” when ______________________________________________________

   b. An example of using “lay” correctly in a sentence is: _______________________________

   c. Use “lie” when ___________________________________________________________

   d. An example of using “lie” correctly in a sentence is:________________________________

Hope you enjoyed this week’s brainteaser. Let me know if you’d like to do it again soon. Here are the answers:

1. So… Let’s begin with quotation marks, and where the period (.), comma (,), colon (:), and semicolon (;) go – inside of, or outside of that closing quotation mark?

.”                  ,”                  “:          and          “;

2. Do you see anything wrong with this sentence?

The Smith’s and the Johnson’s were invited to go with the Walker’s.

The three words boldfaced and in black, are all singular possessives – one person owning something. Makes one want to ask, “(Joe) Smith’s what?” His house? Book? Party? Same for the Johnson’s what, and the Walker’s what.  What is it each possesses? The problem here is that if you are talking about a couple, or a family, the Smiths, the Johnsons, and the Walkers, are plurals (more than one), and not possessive at all. Plain old plurals (unless they are possessive), are not made with apostrophes.

3. a. its means: “its” is possessive.

   b. it’s means: “it is.”

Its/it’s are, arguably, the most commonly misspelled words in the English language

4. When do you use each of the following:

a. Can not: The only time you use “can not” (two words) is when the next word is “only” – e.g., She can not only dance, she can sing.

b. Cannot: This is the one you will generally use.

c. Can’t: This contraction of “cannot” is generally used for less formal communication, including business use.

5. When do you use “lay,” and when do you use “lie”? This one has been irritating students of “proper English,” virtually forever! Or at least since 1770, when, my Webster’s tells me, a group of scholars started trying to correct those who were misusing it!

a. Use “lay” when: There are so many definitions and uses for “lay,” that the mind boggles. Let’s stick with the one that gives so many folks problems. Use “lay” when you mean to put something down.

b. An example of using “lay” correctly in a sentence is: I will lay my books on the table.

c. Use “lie” when: There are probably as many definitions for “lie” as there are for “lay.” So, as before, let’s look at the one  most likely to give problems. Use “lie” when you mean “to recline,” or, as Webster’s puts it, “to be or to stay at rest in a horizontal position…”

d. An example of using both “lay,” and “lie” correctly in a sentence is: I think I’ll lay my books on the table and go lie down for a while.

Got some favorites we can take on? Let us hear from you!

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/292-9681, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

If this blog post would be useful to your team, please forward it, or drop us an email, and we’ll send them next week’s post for you automatically.

We appreciate your inquiries and referrals.

First Step: Avoid them. If that’s not possible, you’ll have to deal with them.

Think back to the most recent time you had a difficult conversation with a customer, or with a coworker. (1) How did you handle it? (2) What happened as a result? (3) What was the real issue? (4) In retrospect, and given the results you got, what, if anything, would you have done differently – or will do differently, next time?

Here’s a quick formula you might use to smooth out your next difficult conversation in advance. As you see this difficult, or unpleasant conversation developing, and before you become enmeshed too far, ask yourself: (1.) What is my purpose in having this conversation? And then,

2. What do I want to achieve here?

3. If you have no answer for either of these questions, maybe it’s time to take your polite leave.

4. It has been said that you cannot be emotional and logical at the same time. So, by having this analytical dialogue with yourself, you can remove the emotion, and concentrate on the logical. The next question, a key question, is to determine what the real issue is in this difficult conversation. Yours, and his, her, or theirs.

5. Choose the outcome you need, and as the conversation progresses, be certain that everything you say contributes to that outcome.

6. If, rather than your being in the middle, a situation already exists for you to fix, you have two options: (1) do nothing, and wait to see what happens, and (2) do something – but what?

In any case, remain professional, pleasant, objective, and calm. Stay focused on what you want to achieve. Don’t lose focus and allow yourself to sink in a swamp of unrelated and useless details.

Some communication issues you can control.  These are usually the outgoing ones. For a phone call, perhaps to resolve a difficult or controversial issue, or maybe just to avoid making an issue any more difficult than it already is, you may want to try this:

1. Jot down a few notes for yourself before picking up the phone – just a few words on each point you want to cover to remind yourself of the points you want to include. These are “talking points,” not a script. (Scripts sound phony.)

2. You may find it helpful to start your conversation with an objective who-what-when-where-why-how first paragraph, identifying yourself, and the situation. Be as objective as you can. “Just the facts, ma’am!”

3. Before making that phone call, anticipate the other person’s comments, complaints, or questions. Practice the answers before picking up the phone (good idea to do this for every contact, and every contact medium).

4. For that in-person meeting, you’ll want to prepare an agenda to hand out at the meeting, leaving space between agenda items to take notes. For the phone call your contact is expecting, you may or may not want to prepare an agenda and email it in advance. This is a strategy consideration.

Incoming messages are harder to control. You cannot always anticipate the unexpected! So what do you do when you receive an unexpected, unpleasant, or even angry email, phone call, or visit?

1. Sound, or seem glad to hear from, or see, the other person. Be pleasant, be professional.

2. Clear your mind and focus on this discussion, especially on what he or she is saying, so you can:

3. Re-state what he or she has said, in other words, to make sure you have a clear understanding of what each of you agrees to.

4. If you can, set up a conversational “agenda.”

5. Set up reasonable expectations for this conversation.

6. Take good notes, making sure you have proper spellings – especially of names – and complete contact information.

In many cases, you will be able to resolve the issue at this point if you can remain focused, professional, pleasant, objective, and calm. When this is the case: Keeping a copy, and using an appropriate tone, confirm, or re-state what you have agreed to, in writing – by email, paper mail, or note card, as appropriate for the tone you want to establish or reinforce with this person.

Gail Tycer offers business writing workshops and presentations; executive coaching, consulting, writing, and editing services. Call Gail at 503/292-9681, or email gail@gailtycer.com to learn more.

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